Dear Young Christian,

If you’re struggling with the church’s teaching on sexuality, relax! People have always struggled with it, so you’re in good company. Jesus did not address every area of sexuality (like incest or bestiality, for instance), because the Old Testament already had, and these were not the “hot button” issues for his culture. When his own culture abused the biblical teachings on divorce, though, Jesus addressed it (cf. Matthew 19:3-9). The New Testament writers, finding themselves ministering in a predominantly Gentile world, got more detailed in this very important area of human life. In fact, they kind of had to get in church people’s faces about it (cf. Romans 1:26-27; 1 Corinthians 5:1-2; 6:9-20).

The Bible celebrates human sexuality in its proper context. Paul, just after blasting the Corinthian Christians about their sexual immorality, tells them, “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:3). The Old Testament, in fact, can be quite frank in its approval of sexual love: “…rejoice in the wife of your youth…. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love” (Proverbs 5:18-19). Then, of course, there is the Song of Solomon—both the husband and the bride take turns describing poetically, but explicitly nonetheless, their emotional and physical desires for each other.

Abstaining from sex outside of marriage can be challenging, but it sure does help one avoid the complications and heartaches that often come with a non-marital sexual relationship. Let’s face it—relationships fall apart or change. It’s much easier to truly “just be friends” when that relationship never had a sexual component. I would submit that God knows us better than we know our own selves, and that God really wants what’s best for us in the long run.

Our culture is addicted to sex. A comedian or a TV sitcom can’t seem to get by without sexual jokes and innuendo. I think all areas of life (including sexuality) can be laughed at, but an addiction is defined as dependency, and neither comedy nor drama can get by without sex! Pornography is everywhere. I believe it harms people. It interferes with relationships and gives young men bad ideas about intimacy, and puts unrealistic expectations on women in the relationship (right, ladies?). I just have a hunch, as well, that the majority of people (especially the women) who perform in the industry would rather be doing something else with their lives. But I hear that the money is good. Oh, well.

Of course, there is the controversial issue of homosexuality. There are even some scholars who have argued that biblical passages speaking against it are misinterpreted. I can say honestly that I wish that were true (it would be one less controversy to deal with), but their arguments do not stand up to scrutiny, and some of their own are starting to finally admit that. The biblical scholar, Robert Gagnon, addresses these issues of interpretation thoroughly and he is worth checking out. Society is going to have to decide how it will view gay relationships, and right now the biblical position is publicly despised and vilified, but the church cannot stop teaching what it believes just because those who disagree might overhear.

Maybe you’re thinking that modern permissive attitudes toward sex aren’t all that fulfilling after all, or perhaps you’re trying to live a chaste sexual life for God but finding it difficult and, at times, you fail to live up to your own standards. In either case, God always forgives those who repent. And what happens if our failures result in a pregnancy? We need to empower our people to protect unborn life (because many unborn children are not protected). We should then either help raise the child or help adopt the child out to a loving family. But remember--whatever may be in your past, God always forgives those who turn to him.

When those first Christian evangelists went out into a Gentile world, they knew they would hit obstacles. Being counter-cultural is hard. They knew that not everyone would buy into their message, but enough did, and still do.

What do you think?

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